1793 April 15 (Maria)

Maria Grace Andrews, Salisbury, to Anne Andrews, Isleworth, [Monday], 15 April 1793.

Monday April 15^th 1793

My dear Love,

Your letter, caused me a concern, I cannot easily express; not only as deferring that sweet hope I had form’d of seeing you, but by exciting in me, in some remorse, for having indulged my own imagination, at the expence of your inquietude.

You had given me reason to expect you “E’er long” no wonder then, that I was infected with the mania, of longing Souls: and so be found contracting, the space of desire, as to hope every day, would be fruition. Alas, my dear! I overlook’d the interval allotted or rather supposed & brought you I had almost said hourly to my embrace by strong anticipation – But shall I say more, & confess y^t I have at periods reason’d also on the nature & probable effects of my silence and thought it might determine you to haste in coming hither. Now all these pleasing fancies, your cruel letter, tended effectually to dissipate. –

You are right, in believing me faithful, with regard to the solemn charge you speak of; yes my d^r Sister, had I been sick, I should have sent you, my complaining sighs; this should lead me to blush, because my gratitude is silent. Yet I trust, I have some, tho’ an unworthy sense, of y^e divine mercy, from the upper, & the nether Spring. Our dear G.Fh:^r, is in usual health; our other d^r Friend, has been greatly indisposed; but is now I trust, thro’ the gracious providence of God! recovering.

And now my love, I would reply to the short, but interesting, intelligence you give me; my Father is well; this deserves my thankfulness tell him I feel it. For yourself “you cannot say much.” Oh! what a conjecture has this cost me! alas! I know the cause; you are burden’d with cares, too frigid for the heart of youth; & foreign to the purpose of y^r Soul. I am call’d away from you by a Friend but I will not detain this. Adieu write soon or rather come. My heart is full of love of solicitude & I hope of prayer,

y^rs affectionately

M. G. A.

discharge for me debts of Compliments, &c

Text: Saffery/Whitaker Papers, acc. 142, I.B.1.(5.), Angus Library. Address: Miss Andrews | M^r Andrews’s | Isleworth | Midd:^x. Postmark: Salisbury; for a fully annotated text of this letter, see Timothy Whelan, gen. ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840 (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 6, pp. 51-52.