Philip Doddridge, Northampton, to Elizabeth Scott, Norwich, 12 May 1745.

Northampton. May 12. 1745

Oh my too dear Friend

         How shall I tell you what my Heart feels on your Account? Just now have I heard at ye End of the trebble Services of a fatiguing tho pleast Day that your languishing Disorders continue, & that your Friends have painful apprehensions on your Account. And it is a wound under wch I am ready to sink. So weak in my Faith; so poor & selfish is my Friendship. Tho I firmly believe you would immediately be one of the happiest among ye happy Dead, yet I cannot bear the Thought. I always knew I loved you, but also I knew not how much. God grant I may not know it ye tmore. I am quite in a Sort of an amaze when I think you may dye before me, poor foolish Creature that I am. When your Life is in the Hand of your Saviour & my Saviour! While I know that for you to dye is gain, yet I that can chearfully trust Xt wh my own Soul find it difficult to trust him wh the Life of such a Friend; so much dearer to him than to me. Oh you wd pity me, & perhaps would be tempted to despise me a little if you know how many mournful Ideas nestle into my mind at once & how little my poor cold low Friendship is warmed & cheared even wh the Rays of your Glory, tho I am assured it would be so great. I cry to God for your Recovery like a passionate foolish Child that must have that thing – that very thing – or cannot be easy & quiet – no not in its Fathers Arms. Thus I pour out my weak Heart before you that you & your excellent Father may pity me & pray for me. I felt none of the alarms & anxieties when I thought of dying my self. Excellent woman! Charming Friend! Incomparable Daughter! Alas for your poor Father if he should survive you! What a favourite of Heaven must he be if after all this uncommon I had almost said unequaled Degree of Refinement & spirituality already attained, this Trial should also be appointed. And am I coming to [Norwich] to visit perhaps your Sick Bed – perhaps to take a last leave of you -- & then to probably of both – Father if it be possible let this Cup pass from me! Oh Madam my Heart is melted like Wax. Just as I was reviewing ye last Chapter of my late Book for a new Edition this acct of your Illness came. You will see ye tender Connection! But God will be intreated for us & delay your Crown a while longer. Peradventure at least he will. Oh that my prayers ye most ardent my Soul can pour out in which I assure my wife most affectionately concurs may prevail. I wrote ye other day to your Dear Dear pappa my ever honoured & most tenderly beloved Friend. But alas if you continue to decline how can my wife bear on any Terms such a Scene of Sorrow to him & to me. In that Case I would come my self, alone & come as soon as possible. Indeed I scarce know what I write. But you will spell out a little of my poor afflicted Heart by it. I long to hear more particularly how you do. May I hope tis only in the Tears of such a Father your Danger exists. I wd fain do it. But let me hear one way or another soon & often. I rejoice beyond Expression in your Comfortable Frame. May you enjoy more of Heaven every Day than others but oh my unfriendly pen wd add may you ^always^ enjoy it on Earth. But I leave you wh your Heavenly Father & wait his will. Share among you our united tenderness Service & Salutations but think not it is possible dear Madm that you should know how much

                                 I am   Yours P D.

Address: To Miss Scott | at the Revd Mr Scotts | in Magdalene Street | Norwich

Postmark: 14 May

Text: Philip Doddridge Collection, Pitts Library, Special Collections and Archives, Emory University, Box 1, Folder 4.  The above letter is not mentioned in Geoffrey Nuttall's Calendar of the Correspondence of Philip Doddridge (1977) or Nuttall's Philip Doddridge: Additional Letters (2001).