1775 November 13

Jane Attwater, Bodenham, to Mary Steele, Broughton, 13 November 1775.

Nov^r 13^th 1775

Was I not assured of my dear Silvias Friendship I should need to make many apologies for so often sending such scribbles to her but as I rejoice in y^e Assurance of y^t valuable blessing I think I need not apologize for w^t I know will give her friendly heart pleasure as I doubt not but I shared your Sympathy in distress so now I w^d call on my dearest Friend to rejoice with me in the preservation of my dear Relatives. Hitherto it has pleased God to preserve his Almighty power is still y^e same I desire to trust his Guardian Care & chearfully hope y^t mercy will benignly shine on us tho’ underserving of it.

W^t gloomy apprehension fill’d my Breast with horror wⁿ last I wrote I was sorry after I sent it as I fear it pain’d y^r feeling heart but w^t a release it is to a Mind in distress to unburthen itself to a Friend. One who can so tenderly feel for others as yourself. I hardly knew w^t I wrote distress & anxiety so affected my Memory y^t y^t Faculty seem’d almost quite gone. I beg you my indulgent Friend to forgive y^t with y^e various others Incoherencies you see so conspicuous in y^r worthless Myrtilla.

Many thanks for y^e pattern I have not yet bought y^e muslin for M^rs Steele. I hoped to have met some of y^r family at Sarum wⁿ I could have had their superior approbation. – I doubt not but you begin to wish y^r papa & mama at home. I suppose you are almost tired of those Domestic Avocations w^ch you are now obliged to attend to. I hope we shall not be disappointed of y^e pleasure of seeing our expected visitants, the amiable Clarissa & lovely Patty. My love awaits y^m & I promise to make our dull place as agreeable as lays in my power to y^m. – The Girl is in a fair way to do well & I hope earnestly wish y^e disorder may not spread. If my dear Friends escape this threat’ning distress how great a deliverance & blessing will it be – may we be truly thankful to our kind preserver & render Him all y^e praise to whom alone it is due may this dispensation of providence together with y^e various others w^ch we are Exercised with be sanctified to us & tend to make us all more confidently depend on him who ordereth all things well & who does whatsoever he pleases in Heaven & amongst y^e children of men.

My dear Bro^r blessed be divine goodness is m^ch better. Y^e Agitation of his mind about y^e dreaded disorder deprived him of Sleep – he was quite poorly for several days. M^r Chubb M^r Pike & M^r Philips came to see us & to comfort us. How much did I wish for M^r Steele in y^e midst of my sorrow. I thought if my Hon^d Friend had been here how much his advice w^d have alleviated those keen sensations w^ch I yⁿ felt.

The smallpox is at Britford. Several are Innoculated & some has it in y^e natural way – may my dear Friends be preserved from it may calm resignation to the divine will and a chearful Hope & dependance on Almighty Goodness be mine, may I not so anxiously pry into future events for who by taking thought can alter y^e least decree. ’Tis certain a firm belief of a superintending providence does not in y^e least forbid us to use y^t prudence & reason w^ch heaven has bestow’d on man. Therefore in my humble opinion we ought to use those faculties in taking every necessary precaution to avoid sorrow & yⁿ leave it to y^e All wise disposer of events.

Yesterday I went with my Bro^r & Sister to Downton to hear M^r Evans. He spoke many good things much of y^e will of man & explain’d the subject in an Intelligible manner. I sh^d not have gone but it was wet & I could not so well have walk’d w^ch I must if I had gone to Sarum. My good Friend H. P. has made application to M^rs Evans of Yeovil. I don’t know assuredly but I imagine he has rec^d a favorable answer – but you must not mention this to any body, ^not to^ M^r & M^rs Rawlings or any one out of y^r family for it was communicated to me as a secret. I have lately rec^d a Letter from Maria & one she wrote to mama at y^e same time with Intelligence in it y^t is very disagreeable to me – I have wrote & desired to hear no more of y^t affair w^ch indeed I wish may be granted. If I hear anything more of it w^ch I hope I shall not I shall soon waft an account of it to the dear partner of my Heart. Every little anecdote ^if its^ ever so triffling I cannot help communicating to Miss Steele & hope her partiality will excuse this I sometimes think my foible – Her advice in every vicissitude of Life is truely grateful to y^e heart of y^r Myrtilla together with y^t of my dear & hon^d Phylander, Theodosia & Maria – I long to see you wⁿ may I hope for y^t pleasure how much joy it w^d afford me. – Especially as I want now so much to converse with you on various subjects. – I fear I shall get into a too pensive mood to rightly enjoy or improve y^e blessings I am now favoured with. I w^d desire to avoid it but y^e above mentioned intelligence has tended I believe to bring on this depression of spirits. My sister does not say anything of her own Health but I hope she is tolerable as she wrote two letters together and told me she was very busily employ’d in quilting work w^ch I think quite unfit for her.

Now we rec^d a letter from Bro^r W– since they left us w^ch acquainted us of their safe arrival at Bratton & also y^t y^e night my Bro^r was with us his house was surrounded by 2 men who came about 10: oclock & continued about y^e house peeping in at y^e Windows till 5 in y^e morn – they came to y^e door about 2 and in imitation of y^e voice of Robert a silly fellow who works for M^r Whitaker asked for y^e keys of y^e barn. The maid spoke to y^m but they w^d not answer. They did not open y^e door & very fortunately y^t Evening ^one^ of y^e Girls admirers were there to see y^m. He did not happen to be gone wⁿ first they came so continued with y^e Girls all night. About 5 they got ammunition & he went out in y^e yard, saw y^e fellow, and ^yⁿ^ fired. They then made off & has not been since h^d of – we conjecture y^t it must be some persons who are well acquainted with y^e house &c as they came the night my Bro^r was out & they must be acquainted with y^e work men.

I have much to say to my Beloved Friend could I but see her. Can you tell wⁿ you shall come to Sarum? I hope you will let me know if you can. I suppose you will soon have y^e pleasure of Miss Frowds company. You mentioned in y^r last y^t you had sent Hannahs verses but I could not find y^m. I fancy you must have forgot to put y^m up. My heart gratefully owns y^r & Miss Scotts favour, to her I have been very remiss in not answering my d^r Myras last favour yet but my [time] has been so busily employ’d y^t I may with truth say I have not had a convenient opportunity. Our Afec^te good wishes await y^r dear Aunt & is she still y^e same? W^t an amazing series of Affliction has she gone thro’. Happy indeed is it y^t y^e same hand y^t afflicts so kindly supports – w^t did y^r aunt say about y^e Maid? I don’t know whether y^e account I gave of her was Intelligible or not. We unite in affec^te commendations to my dear Silvia & if they are return’d you will please to make y^e same acceptable to M^r & M^rs Steele – my love to Lucinda Clarissa & y^e lovely prattlers.

Adieu my ever dear Friend. Amidst all y^e vicissitudes of this transient Life I hope my heart will ever feel y^e same Friendship for my ever [paper torn] Silvia as JA now feels & y^t she will still retain an Affection for her

Myrtilla

M^rs B–d just come I am sorry sorry &c

Text: Attwater Papers, acc. 76, II.B.2.(h.). No postmark. Address: ‘Miss Steele’. Note from Attwater on address page reads: ‘beg leave to keep Lady Russels Letters a little longer, Nov^r 13 1775’; for an annotated edition of this letter, see Timothy Whelan, ed., Nonconformist Women Writers 1720-1840 (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 3, pp. 270-72. Reference is to The Letters of Lady Rachel Russell (London: E. and C. Dilly, 1773); Lady Russell appeared in Mary Scott’s The Female Advocate.