1775 (Summer)

Jane Attwater to Mary Steele, c. summer 1775.

[...] & be it our whole desire to act at all times in due conformity to his will – I am glad to see you so justly considering y^t y^e situation Let not any of these things my dear young Friend discourage you in but[2] know y^t for wise Ends God suffers whatever is to be. Were we to see perfection on Earth we should not so earnestly desire after y^t happy abode where Imperfection pains y^e heart no more. Here is not our resting place for ’tis polluted. Therefore let these disagreeable circumstances w^ch has lately happened & to w^ch you have not been a stranger – animate you & me to be more circumspect in our conduct, teach us to learn more self censure, to be more dilligent in examining what has been our sins y^t has help’d to bring this judgment on us all & may y^e consequences be y^t we may be more humble & more holy towards God as well our fellow creatures. May our Lives all ways teach w^t our lips or pens dictate.

Glad to see you so justly considering y^e place in w^ch it has pleased God in his providence to put you. I doubt not & earnestly hope it will be for your lasting advantage. You could not have selected a more suitable part of divine writ yⁿ y^t Be dilligent in Business & fervent in spirit serving y^e Lord. Where these meet indeed it is most commendable & desireable. The hand of y^e dilligent maketh rich & God blesses y^e labors of y^e honest & industrious & inables y^m to do for him what he fill their hearts with a desire of doing, so far as its consistent with their Good.

You complain of Lukewarmness with too great reason I believe all may adopt y^r complaint. As for myself I have too much. Indifference prevails even at best & what yⁿ is my worst seasons – you tell me of my improving my priviledges. I am sorry I wish to be inabled to live much in a little time, to walk holily & humbly with my God, to be an humble Instrument in his hand, to promote his Glory. But I am deficient in every. I find daily sin vanity & folly arising in my heart & wⁿ I would do good evil is present with me. Beg you to make no apologies in your next for your letter, did not need y^m. Write when you have time or Inclination to enter into a conversation with a Friend & you have not time to an opportunity to personally converse with those who can talk with you in a manner y^t w^d be much more to y^e purpose yⁿ it is in my power to do – I shall be always ready to lend you my poor assistance & should sincerely rejoice could I be y^e means of y^e least service in affording you any aid to persue y^r journey Heavenward & ascribe all y^e glory to God to whom It is only due – may I still be remembered by you & each of my dear Friends who surround y^e throne of Grace y^t we may be meetend for y^t Glorious Inheritance & at last have an abundant entrance into [Reconc]iliation there – offered to us to you & I humbly hope to me the unworthiest of y^e unworthy. Yⁿ if we are inabled thus to do may approach God as our Father, our father by adoption as well as by creation & preservation & under this endearing this fillial Character we may address him at all times in every distress. Come to our heavenly father & pour forth our sorrows before he with paternal regard will hear answer & forgive, will pity our Infirmities, remembering we are but dust. He will view us as heirs & joint heirs with Christ, make all things to work together for good and as Jesus our Glorious mediator has willed so does God will y^t where Christ is we shall be also – are we my Friend so happy to be interested in y^e peculiar love of God thro’ Jesus Christ, what yⁿ have we to fear? Nothing – all is yours – tho’ y^e prospects before us are truly gloomy, tho’ wars & rumours of wars are sounding in our ears & tho we fear there is too much reason to dread nearer approaches of horror will erelong be our unhappy case, yet if we are those y^t are built on y^e rock Christ Jesus, sheltered in this ark of y^e covenant, we need not fear. Tho’ y^e tempestuous waves of sorrow & y^e fiery dart of persecution should beat against us yet our foundation standeth sure nor shall not be moved. May we lay those things to heart, repent & mourn for our numerous sins w^ch we as individuals have added to y^e mountainous heap of national iniquities – & remember & obey y^e exhortation given, prepare to meet thy God O Israel – the unhappy divisions amongst nations & what is still worse amongst Churches is a loud call for y^e judgment of God to be poured down upon us. We are not aware of our dreadful nature; y^e latter is & how does Satan y^e busy adversary of souls[ix] yet fresh adversary over many at such a season how ready is he with his various insinuations to lay such things as stumbling blocks in y^e way of some & as very great discouragements to others. May we be all of a more meek humble & peaceable spirit, have more of y^t amiable spirit of y^e perfect pattern of Holiness. Yⁿ these w^d not be as they are for God is Love – & seeing y^e evil of these things may it deter us f^m giving y^e least sanction to any evil in our hearts – fly every sin as y^e procurer of bitter evils & be ever on our watch against every spiritual foe. We have y^e utmost need to put in practice continually our Lords exhortation, watch & pray y^t ye enter not into temptation. Think whenever we are going to pursue any new step wither this is consistent with y^e will of God, ask his guidance & direction for knowing our own frailty. We must confess of ourselves we can do nothing.

Joy of our Lord is y^e wish of your unworthy but sincere

Friend Myrtilla

Text: Attwater Papers, II.B.2.(i.); ; for an annotated edition of this letter, see Timothy Whelan, ed., Nonconformist Women Writers 1720-1840 (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 3, pp. 266-68. The beginning portion of the letter has been torn away. The letter was written after the death of Steele’s uncle in 1775.