Anne Dutton, Whittlesey, to the Revd William Grant, Wellingborough, c. 1726.
Much honoured and beloved Brother,
May the Peace of God that passeth all Understanding, keep your Heart and Mind thro’ Christ Jesus! I bless the Lord, he was graciously pleas’d to make what you wrote to me sweet and savoury. I thought, ‘If the Grace of God is so great, that it will take up all the Ages of Time to tell the Story of it; how vast must be its Preparations for the Entertainment of all the Heirs of Grace beyond time!” Again, I thought, ‘If there has been such a Display of Grace, in the Advancement of our Nature, in the Person of Christ, and of our persons, in relation to Him, into such a Nearness of Union with God, what Favour might we not expect from so great Grace!’ I saw from hence, what great Encouragement I had to approach the Throne with the greatest of my Requests, seeing I was made so nigh: And that this Grace of Union, was but like laying the Foundation, upon which all the after Displays of Favour was to be built. I was also help’d to prize the Blessed Comforter, who tells the Story of Grace, with such Almighty Energy.
I have great Reason to bless the Lord, for [115] his continued Goodness towards me; my Soul is still held in Life, notwithstanding all that Death of Corruption, Temptation, and Desertion I pass under. I call the Lord’s present Dealings with me, Desertion: Because he is withdrawn, as to those frequent Manifestations of divine Favour, I was wont to be blest withal; the Fruit of which was, frequent Access into his Bosom. But blessed be his Name, I am not wholly deserted in this Respect. For now and then I hear sweet Whispers of his everlasting Kindness, and am told how full of Grace his Heart is towards me in my present Condition, and that he designs to deliver me. I am variously exercis’d: But I sometimes think, that the Lord is but preparing great Mercy for me; and that my being afflicted, tossed with Tempest, and not comforted, is but in order to lay my Stones with fair Colours.
I was a while ago, much cast down, under a Sense of my having lost, in a great Measure, that daily Savour of the Things of God; that had wont to be upon my Spirit; and that word was with Weight upon my Mind, Mat. v. 13. If the Salt have lost his Savour, it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and trodden under Foot of Men. I saw, that I deserv’d nothing less than to be cast to the Dunghil, as a useless Creature. Upon this I thought, that I would go and tell my Lord Jesus, ‘That I had grievously departed from him, and that I was good for nothing but to be ‘cast unto the Dunghil: And ask him, if he would deal so with me.’ Which I did; and soon after that Word was very affecting to me, I Sam. ii. 8. He raiseth up the Poor out of the Dust, and lifteth up the Beggar from the Dunghil, to set them among Princes. And I thought, if he should lift me from the Dust of my present Lowness, and from my deserved Dunghil-Condition: Oh how shall I be beholden to Free-Grace! Oh! thought I, to be lifted [116] from my present poor, low, useless Condition, this is a Dunghil indeed! And I pray’d him that he would tell me again, whether he would deliver me: Tho’ I did not deserve that he should speak to me; because he had done it again and again, and I had been unbelieving quickly after I had heard his Voice; But I entreated him to speak once more. And quickly after, that Word broke in upon my Heart with great Power, Acts xvi. 31. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. ’Twas Salvation from present felt Deadness, to a Life of renew’d Quickenings, from apprehended Distance, to a Life of sensible Communion, from a barren, useless Condition, to a Life of service, and Fruitfulness to God, that I wanted. And oh how sweet was the Tidings, that there was yet Salvation for me, in these Respects! Oh how sweetly did these Words sound, thou shalt be saved! Saved out of the Deeps thou art at present in! And that Word follow’d it, John xi. 25. He that believeth in me, tho’ he were dead, yet shall he live. Oh how did those Words reach my present Condition, tho’ he were dead, yet shall he live! I’m dead indeed, thought I, but there is yet Life for me: Believing in the Lord Jesus, I shall yet Live. And that Word also was brought, Heb. vii. 25. Wherefore he is able also to save them to the Uttermost, that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make Intercession for them. And oh how sweet was those Words, to the Uttermost! ‘Oh! thought I, I am not got beyond Christ’s Power to save: Tho’ the present Trial is the deepest, and the most unlikely to be deliver’d from: Yet he is able to save to the Uttermost, even to this very Time and Case.’ From these Words, I was instructed into my Duty of believing afresh on the Lord Jesus, as exalted at the Father’s right Hand, on Purpose to save his People out of all their Distresses. And I had [117] such a View of his being in Office to save me, from these Words, because he ever liveth to make Intercession, as I think I never had before. I saw it my Duty to believe on him afresh, in all the Fulness of his Grace, Wisdom, and Power, as in Office to save me. And the Encouragement I received hereto, was, the Certainty of the Event, thou shalt be saved. Then my soul breathed thus: ‘Oh that I could steadily believe that he would save me!’ And then those Words came, he is able to save all that come: That come, thought I, I’ll come then with all my Wants, with all my Distresses, and cast myself as a poor, needy, helpless Creature, upon the Fulness of his Grace, Wisdom, and Power, as He is in Office to save me out of all my Distresses, and to the Utmost of all my Desires.’ And the Blessed Spirit who had given me this Encouragement, gave me also Soul-Motion: So that I came, and cast my Burden upon the LORD, and my weary Soul found Rest. For I quickly enter’d into the Assurance-Rest of Faith, that I should be saved; and that my believing on the Lord Jesus, for the Time-Salvation, would be as effectual to obtain its end, as my believing on him for the eternal Salvation of my Soul.
But oh! I am a poor unsteady Creature; I have been sinking in my Faith since then. And once, in particular, when I was in a Fainting Fit, these Thoughts were suggested to my Mind: ‘What, hast thou had twenty Years Experience of the Grace and Faithfulness of God, and afraid to trust him in this Case?’ And herewith I had a glorious View of the Lord’s past Appearances for me, and that he was the same in his Grace, Power, and Faithfulness now, as he was then. Whereupon I put it into his Hand; desiring that he would give me what my Soul long’d for, if consistent with his Glory. However I trusted him with this Jewel, of my desired and expected Salvation, that he [118] would keep it for me, and, in his own Time, give it out to me. Yea, I committed it to him, and was willing it should be disposed of, just as his Grace would cast it; whether for my enjoying it, or not. And such Thoughts were suggested to my Mind, ‘Do, trust him, try him, this once, and see how gracious he will be.’ And being help’d to cast my Care upon him, I was presently as light and chearful as if nothing ailed Me. And further, I had such a distinct View of his being my tender, wise, strong, and faithful Friend, that I freely put it into his Heart and Hand. And these Scriptures were precious to me, Isa. xxvi. 4. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: For in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting Strength: I Pet. v. 7. Casting all your Care upon HIM, for HE careth for you: And Prov. xvi. 20. Whose trusteth in the LORD, happy is he.
Sometimes He helps me to trust him, sometimes to wait for him, and at other Times vehemently to long for him, even to a kind of Fainting, or Love-sickness: and sometimes I am quite the Reverse to all these. But yet the Lord gives me gracious Hints, that he will come. And when I han’t that Assurance, yet he leads me into the Depths of my own Wants and Distresses; and makes the Declarations, and Promises of his Grace, together with his Dealings with his People in such Circumstances, to be very sweet to me; and I am help’d to cast myself upon the Grace, which shines forth in all these, to be dealt with accordingly.
I was a while ago, blessing the Lord, that I had yet any room to hope for so great Grace, as to be brought out of Captivity; and made to feed, and lie down safely: and that Word dropt upon my Heart, Isa. xlix. 8, 9. To cause to inherit the desolate Heritages, &c. I saw that Christ was given for this very End, to say to the Prisoners, Go forth to them that are in Darkness, or in Captivity, Shew yourselves, [119] to cause to inherit the desolate Heritages. I thought, ‘That all the while the Lord’s People was in Captivity, carried away from their Lot that fell to ’em in the Land of Promise, their Heritage was desolate.’ It is not said, the People was desolate, (tho’ a captive state is so) but their Heritages were desolate. Oh! this Grace melted me: That whoever fills the Place, that fell to any of God’s dear ones by Lot, they shall never take the Right of Inheritance from them: For God looks upon it to be but a desolate Heritage, till the right Owner is brought to inherit it again. It’s the Father’s Will, that Christ should cause his desolate Captives, to inherit their desolate Heritages. And when they’re got Home, then follows the glorious Feast He makes them, Ver. 10 which, at that Time, was very sweet to my Soul.
Since then, I was fainting in my Hopes, Desires and Expectations. But the Lord broke in with this Word, Rev. ii. 25. That which thou hast already, hold fast till I come. Oh the Grace of this Word also! I took the gracious Hint: and, amaz’d at his Kindness, said, ‘Lord, what wilt thou come! Wilt thou indeed come! Let it then be according to thy Word. Come, leaping on the Mountains, skipping on the Hills; come, flying on the Wings of Love: Come, in all the Grace of thy Heart, in all the Grace of thy Covenant, in all the Grace of thy Relations to me!’ Thus I fell a praying, while my Lord kept me believing. Again, I was affected, not only with the Sureness of my Deliverance, but with the Manner of it also: That it should be by my Lord’s coming himself to fetch me. I thought, he might have said, I’ll send for thee, but he said, I’ll come. I saw that this was the Language of my kind Bridegroom: And like as if a tender Husband having his dear Bride at a Distance, should not be content with sending his Servants for her, but will [120] come himself to fetch her Home. Such kind of Love may be seen in Creatures: And I saw that Christ was resolved that none of them all, should shew more Kindness than He, in his Bridegroom-Compassions, according to his Bridegroom-Relation.
Bless the Lord with me: And help me by your Prayers: Forget not the Afflictions of Joseph. To the abundant Grace of our own God, I commit you: Wishing you a Life of joyful Communion with him here, and an abundant Entrance into Glory hereafter.
With endeared Love, I rest
Yours in Christ,
A. D.
Text: A. D. [Anne Dutton]. A Brief Account of the Gracious Dealings of God, with a poor, sinful, unworthy Creature, relating to some particular Experiences of the Lord’s goodness, in bringing out several little Tracts, to the Furtherance and Joy of Faith. With an Appendix, and a Letter prefix’d on the Lawfulnes of a Woman’s appearing in Print. Parts I, II, and III. London: Printed by J. Hart, in Popping’s Court, Fleet-street; and sold by J. Lewis, in Pater-noster-row, near Cheapside. 1750. Part II, pp. 114-120.